Stumbling in the Darkness

In “The Critic as Artist”, Oscar Wilde wrote:

Yes: I am a dreamer. For a dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.

He went on to say that it was also his reward.

I think what he meant by the punishment was that a dreamer lives in a certain degree of darkness and obscurity, in which he stumbles around. What are dreams other than personal, half formed ideas and ideals, most of them emerging in the dead of night or in front of a cold and vacant expanse of white computer screen?  The punishment is the loneliness, the insecurity, the doubt. Seeing the dawn before the rest of the world can be isolating, because you have to find a way of describing that light, that emerging beauty.  You have to convince people that you know.

My ambition is to become a published writer. And yes, I stumble through the moonlight – the half-light of troubled thoughts – regularly and often.  I worry that I will ever be able to convince anyone.

But I understand how being a dreamer has its rewards: The creation of something that might change the world, or at least the way someone views it; the arranging of words into sentences and paragraphs that might make someone gasp in awe or delight, or weep with sadness or joy; the weaving of worlds that might capture and captivate. Those things are the reward.

I have created this blog to document my struggle to become a published writer.  I will share the process and the pain.

I will also post on here some of my work: short stories, poems, serials – whatever I am brave enough to share.

Please feel free to comment on any of my posts and pass on the url of my blog to anyone you think will enjoy reading it.

Thanks – Debbi